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søndag 10. februar 2013

Morsdag

Bortsett i fra jul, påske, halloween, sommerferier, idylliske søndagsmorninger og andre fine (familie) dager, så er det en dag som nesten er verre enn andre.
Morsdagen.

I ukesvis har butikkene vært fulle med kort der det står "Verdens beste mamma", hjerte sjokolader, kopper med sukkersøtt print og tykke bamser med alt for små t-shorter der det står VERDENS BESTE MAMMA.
Jeg snur meg og går en annen vei.


Jeg våknet tidlig i dag. Ute skinner solen og gradestokken viser minusgrader.
Morgen kaffen lukter nydelig, og jeg, som hver morgen, setter meg forran PC'en min og skrur på Facebook. Nyhetsveggen er full av bilder og hilsinger til de heldige mødrene.
Det stikker i hjertet.




Senere i dag skal jeg i bursdag. Til en helt vanlig mann i begynnelsen av 30 årene. Han er ikke noe problem å besøke. De andre fedrene der er heller ikke et problem. Men de er det. Mødrene. Og barna forsåvidt.
Mødrene er der i flertall. Og som stolte mødre bruker, så kommer de nok til å fortelle om små barnehender som vekket de på senga med frokost. Barnetegninger og gaver. Om hvor stor lykke det er å være mamma. Og så videre..
Slike dager får meg til å tenke.


Jeg elsker min egen mor. Og hun har selv fått en hilen i dag. Jeg har ingen problem med å forstå at denne dagen nok er fin for alle verdens mødre. Og skaper en viss forventning og fryd for barna deres.
Men som ufrivillig barnløs, så har jeg i dag (og andre dager jeg nevnte innledningsvis) lyst til å grave meg ned i senga.
Og sove lenge.




6 kommentarer:

  1. Yes, I understand you (too well).
    Each of us has to find her own way dealing with gatherings like this.

    This is what I wrote 3 years ago, as a guest blogger:
    http://blog.silentsorority.com/?s=speaking+a+common+language

    (just a note: the mommy group that I left - I did not loose all the girls - one girl always stayed in touch with me, she understood I needed a break... she is the best friend I ever had).

    I don't miss the other friends. Looking back I realize they were just good colleagues, not really friends.

    Wishing you a beautiful Sunday!

    SvarSlett
    Svar
    1. It's hard to deal with gatherings like that sometimes, but it was OK today.

      What a great post you wrote about "Speaking a common language".
      I just love when you are writing: "And I really hope that one day (when I am old and grey) I will be able to say: this is not the life that I planned, but no other life would I like to have more"

      Glad to hear that one of the girls understanded that you needed a break :) (I feel that one of my bestfriend understands my infertility. She has to children)

      Hope you have a great Sunday too:) How is the wheather in Slovenia?

      Slett
  2. This is great that your bestfriend understands infertility!

    I really had hard time to be happy with my friend that also has two children. Now the children are 5 and 7 and I am really happy that they are part of my life as well.

    Today we had in Slovenia 0 degrees during the day, sun & snow. It was beautiful. (I could even go for a short walk with husband and beloved Wolf).

    Here is weatherforecast for Slovenia, so you will always know what the weather is :)

    http://www.arso.gov.si/vreme/napovedi%20in%20podatki/vremenska_napoved_slika.html

    SvarSlett
  3. I think it's easier to deal with friends that have children, then friends that are pregnant. (Don't know why..)

    Good to hear that you could walk a short walk with your husband and Wolf :)) How is Wolf now?
    It's cold in your country too:) I don't like the winter so much, and look forward to the spring to come.

    SvarSlett
    Svar
    1. yes, it was always the hardest part - friends getting pregnant. Luckily, I am 40 now, so none of my friends is planning any children any more.

      Wolf is a bit better now, he is without any drugs now, so we will see... I learnt to enjoy every day that I am able to have with him.

      Slett
    2. Glad to hear that Wolf is a bit better:) Hope that you will have many good days with him <3

      Slett